Understand the Process of Individual Therapy

What is the purpose of individual therapy?

When people are troubled with painful life situations, therapy can be a way to either view those situations differently or to change the way one handles them. Often, people are in pain because of "baggage" from the past. They wish to discuss these experiences without the intrusion of other family members--and without burdening them. Individual therapy allows this flexibility. Most importantly, therapy is an opportunity to be really listened to and understood.

How does a marital and family therapist do individual therapy?

Marital and family therapy trains the therapist to think of people in terms of their context, the system in which they live. This might include their spouses or children or even their work environments. Adults also seem to carry in their hearts the good and the bad experiences from their families of origin. A marital and family therapist takes all that into consideration. It's kind of like having a roomful of invisible "visitors" in the room too.

This doesn't sound brief. What you describe sounds like it takes years of therapy.

Taking past history into account does not mean focusing only on the past. This background, however, may shed light on current feelings, opinions, reactions, preferences, fears, and so on. Awareness of the past may give a sense of meaning to the present. The present is always the main focus of therapy so it really is brief. Some people may need only one session; others, a bunch. The longest may be a couple of years--but you, the client, are always in charge of deciding how many times you want to come.

Maybe what you are describing is a superficial kind of therapy

On the contrary, by addressing what is really important in a person's life today, brief therapy can often accomplish more than therapies designed to reconstruct a person's psyche. Once the client discovers a new meaning or way of viewing his or her troubles or sees a new way of handling them, the problem is over.

How are therapy goals set?

The client decides what is wrong and what is to be accomplished. I don't take advantage of my expertise. My job is to offer the insights of a stranger looking somewhat objectively at you and your relationship. But you know your life, your desires, and your pain better than I could.

What is the therapist's job?

The therapist helps clients meet their goals. She or he does his by helping clients discover their own inner resources and use these resources as the basis for new solutions. The art of therapy is to notice themes and patterns, see things from a different angle, remember seemingly unrelated events that may be important, and generally bring in her own life experience and wisdom to add a new perspective to the one the client already has.

This approach sounds different from psychiatry, psychology, and social work. Is it?

Psychiatry, psychology, and social work are based on the idea that someone is sick and requires treatment. To therapists who do not believe in pathology, symptoms are not a matter of sickness but of people's struggles to cope with difficulties--which is the human experience.