Most marriages have mixed feelings about the divorce but have fallen into toxic behavior. In which they focus on the weaknesses of the other. If they can think about the aspects in which their marriage and partner are good, they will have the key to start rebuilding their relationship.
Keep In Mind That It May Be A Bad Run
The attitude towards a marriage crisis can change from wanting to give it up for wanting to fix it over one or two years. I tell my clients that we must let the consequences of the crisis settle a bit to find out what is what they want.
You Have To Attain Your Partner Again, Even If It Is Somewhat Uncomfortable
When your relationship is about to break, the last thing you want is to give you hugs and say nice things to you. But you have to do it. Yes, when a relationship has difficulties, being tender is not natural; it seems constrained and automatic. A relationship flourishes thanks to affection and love, so you have to get to that point where it works to seem more natural.
You have to get used to saying “I” instead of “WE.”
Everyone knows that marriage is a matter of two. And when there are problems, you are also contributing. Instead of saying things like ‘we argue a lot’ or ‘sex is not like before between us,’ think about what you have done to contribute to those problems.
You Have To Ask Yourself Why You Still Want To Fix Your Marriage
The most potent indicator that a relationship is healthy is the presence of the desire for the relationship to work, regardless of the difficulties. If you both want the relationship to work, you are very likely to get it. I tell you that a good way to start is to stop to think about the benefits of continuing together for all those involved (the members of the couple, the children, etc.)
You Have To Realize That Relationships Are Not Going To Be Easier With A New Partner
Focus on growing and healing. Yes, you can start over with another person, and then what? The same dynamic will be repeated. Instead, it is advisable to keep an open attitude to the possibility of going to therapy. If the divorce is the answer, go ahead with that decision consciously, without guilt.
If you have children, you have to take into account what it will mean for them to throw in the towel or keep trying.
Don’t divorce if you’re not sure. Instead of doing it, wait for things to clear up. If you have children, not regretting anything means being able to tell them that you did everything you could to save the relationship.
You Have To Focus On What Can Be Changed
You just have to focus on the things you can control. By the time they come to see me, each member of the couple has made a huge list of things that their partner does and would like to stop doing. Things like ‘that does not happen so much time watching TV ‘or’ stop cleaning so much and come to bed with me. ‘Yes, it would not be bad if your partner stopped doing those things, but it is his thing if he wants to do it. Let something like that irritate you just get disgusted unnecessarily. Instead, focus on the things you can control and let your partner fix theirs. You will soon be more relaxed, have a better mood, and, as a result, the relationship will begin to improve.