How Can I Prove That You Can Get Good Results Too? Here is what other people say:

"Your ideas are so refreshing and your book is very convincing, especially that you look at each side as compassionately, fairly, and non-judgmentally as possible."

CALIFORNIA

"I entered verbal abuse in the search engine and your website popped up as the first listed. Compelling? Yes, the words save your marriage caught my attention. I clicked on the linked and soaked up every page of your website.

Then I emailed a personal question/situation, because I was not sure that you can really learn how to stop and then heal from the damage, but you can!!!! which is exactly what you replied to me! I was so impressed that you yourself replied to me in a personal style email, not a computer generated one, that I stop and thought, hey this lady is really dedicated and interested in helping each and everyone out there who is seeking help. I bought the book and printed it out, to read on my comfy couch. I have marked alot of pages with notes, and comments, and have worked through a lot of it with my husband. We are both guilty of verbal abuse, and we are working on it together.

I left the page 29, 33 and 34 in front of the computer screen and then next morning when I went down to check my email, my hubby had filled in the applicable "abusive" behaviors he was guilty of! Amazingly, taking the first step to admit that there was a problem, was very easy for him to do, because of the way you delivered it.

Your suggestions are down to earth and written in a very unbiased way. A man or woman reading your book will not think that you are pro-man or a feminist. I think that all your years of hard work are evident in the book you wrote. I think you cut up your information in pieces easy enough to digest, especially for the "not so willing" person who might be handed the book by their spouse.

I can barely keep my excitement down when I think of how much this book has and will help us. I wish this information is given to 9th graders to read in high school, so they can avoid the many abusive relationships one sometimes goes through!!!!!!!!

Hoo-ray for Dr. Deb.

Dr. Deb really cares about each and everyone she helps, one couple at a time!

Thanks Dr. Deb"

MASSACHUSETTS

"I pretty much knew some of the stuff, but what I didn't know was how to approach the situation. I've starting "hearing what he means." Huge difference in my response. So I'm practicing how to say what I mean to him without putting him on the defensive.

I realized how ultra sensitive he is to my opinions, statements, etc.... I'm finding it very enlightening to learn how to talk to him and when I sense his defenses going up I realize he's feeling guilty, or wrong etc...He actually told me it was hard for him to believe I think he's great because his mother spent her time telling him how hideous he was... The change in the atmosphere at our house is really amazing and our children have even noticed the difference. The book was just one more stepping stone on a long road back for both of us. I am encouraged and feel really good about myself that I'm able to make the changes I have - so the book will be a big help in keeping going in the right direction.

I applaund what you are doing - how much of an uphill battle do you fight in the psych community? I have long pondered the question "why do they stay" (and have been given many answers to that question) and all the obvious ones do apply, finances,children, etc... but I believe there is one more that is often overlooked - because at some very gut level people know that there partner is fundamentally a good person with a really serious problem. I don't believe this is just a male/female problem but a much deeper social problem. How much could be done with a change in the paradigmn if we understood the parenting required not to create the problem in the first place, and a new way of treating the problem once it exists. There is so much right about your approach, I hope not only do you continue to help individuals but you are able to impact your work community also. Well that is just my viewpoint. And I'm not talking about an out and out sociopath - but just the common everyday families that this tears up generation after generation. Best of luck to you

Thanks so much"

CALIFORNIA

"You are the only source that really makes sense."

"Dr. Deb, Yes, it did download. Both my husband and I are totally immersed in it. You should have seen the connection in his eyes. Talking about an "ah ha" moment. Thanks again,"

CALIFORNIA

Dear Dr. Deb,

Your information is awesome! From your book to your newsletters. I am really trying to apply the information in your book regarding constructive criticism. I love the idea of finding three (or more) positive things to say before correcting, and then using questions. I still find it hard to use questions because I don't get good response from my daughter. But I am working on using that entire process. Working on this process forces me to put more thought into what I am going to say and allows me to root out things that I know will bring a negative response.

I believe my daughter is imitating my husband's abusive behavior patterns. She is very much out of control in her speech and actions. I know she is confused and angry. All of this makes normal conversation very difficult. She has developed victim thinking and blaming. This makes any kind of discipline difficult.

Your article on assertiveness came at just the right time. Because we are reading your book as a family, my husband has changed drastically in his conversation and is no longer outright verbally abusive. This has changed my behavior. I am calmer and not as angry and upset. Dealing with my daughter is still difficult. She feels we have messed up her life but like my husband has put the blame on me.

Because I have been applying your information on assertiveness, I no longer feel I am fighting her for control of conversations when I need to tell her things that I feel are important. The hardest thing to control is the volume of my voice. This is due to my childhood. But my volume is a lot lower and moving in the direction of complete control. I can already see the difference in my daughter. Our conversations are calmer and she is listening more and more. I can tell she is more at peace with herself and not as angry as she used to be.

We have begun counseling. Using your information on how to fnd a good counselor was invaluable. Although we all have our choices to make, I feel we now are all in the best position to get the help we need to heal, grow, and finally leave behind us this horrible destructive thing called abuse.

Thank you,"

ILLINOIS

Hi Dr Deb. I just purchased your book and I read 70 pages starting at 4 AM and now it's noon and I want to tell you it's giving me so much hope. I just keep writing in my notes exactly how I feel and I never understood why I feel this way. I am an abuser and I've abused my wife and I absolutely recognize this. I'm just thankful for your book--it's got real solutions.[a week later, same guy]BTW...we are so happy (maybe the happiest we've ever been in our lives). My wife feels like I am the husband she always thought I would be and so do I. There is a real sense of healing in our lives. My wife just lost her purse with $1,000 cash. I did not feel the least bit of anger or emotion run through me (before it would have sent me into orbit). I just said...oh well...too bad you'll have to get a new driver's license...and this was with NO effort. I'm not even trying to be a good guy. It feels like the logical connections in my brain have taken over that emotional reaction. I feel like I am on drugs that are controlling me from making bad decisions but I am not on any medication...I just feel healed and like the real me has stepped out of the shell and that I am OK...and that I knew I was a good person...I just didn't know why I treated my wife poorly...now I know why and don't need to continue to abuse my wife.

THANK YOU!!!! THANK YOU!!!!! THANK YOU!!!

We look forward to meeting you and continuing to learn.

First of all your writing is very personal, intimate and close to the person who reads. secondly you desrcibe everything so vividly, that when you pause to explain the situation it is as if you are putting the actaul movie on pause. GREAT!

FLORIDA

You need to hear this: I found you over 3 yr ago and you were the only therapist on line who "had it all": the ADD, the holistic, the spiritual part and the actual cases of people. I have your e-book downloaded and printed and took it with me on a vacation - and that is all I read and I would share it with my husband but he dismissed me. What really helped me was when we went into therapy in 2004- right after my father died- and because I had your e-book I could tell she was the wrong counselor and everything played out in those sessions because I had a head's up. You must know that you are a spiritual gift.

FLORIDA

Hi Deb. I just wanted to say that I think you should do popular press books. Have you tried a publisher? Once again I notice how well you write for the general audience, and you have the skills to back it up unlike a lot of hype that is out there. In otherwords, I find the style of your writing to be spot on for the general audience. Best of luck.

FLORIDA

I read your book last week and I think it helped me understand for the first time (I am 40 years old, married with a son 14 and daughter 12) what has caused me to be a verbal abuser and pushed me close to being a physical abuser.

I have been to see several counselors with my wife, but your book helped me to recognize some things that needed immediate action and I have spent the last few days in some deep thought about what to do next. I think it is time I spoke to someone about addressing some of my problems.

CONNECTICUT

I purchased your document online... it's wonderful! Finally found something in plain English, and situations we can relate to. My husband is in the middle of reading it, and has admitted that he's stuck in victim thinking.... I'd like to find out what you suggest to help him get past this, he seems to really have some trouble. We are currently separated, just to give you some background, but it's for the best right now. His victim thinking has permeated his entire life.

Dear Dr. Deb, I just wanted to say thank you for having your book on the Internet. I read half of it the same night I downloaded it, and you provided a lot of useful and practical information. Unfortunately, my "husband" and I are already divorced, but had we a copy of your book years ago, maybe things would have worked out. I shared my copy with him, because I think it will be valuable in our personal lives. Actually, I think everyone should read it because it teaches people to communicate efficiently! In fact, I believe all marriage/family counselors should be required to read your book! Thank you again for making a difference!

Dr Deb,

I think you're newsletters are great and give practical advice (the frequency is good too.) I purchased your on-line book last year and I love your approach. It's not blaming, but it does not let people off the hook either.

CONNECTICUT

Dr. Deb

My wife is seeing a counselor and so am I. So we each go to individual counseling and we were doing marriage counseling with my counselor. My wife has elected to stop attending marriage counseling at this time - she will go if I ask her to. My wife is really likes Dr. Phil, hence my writing to him.

A prior counselor told me to read the book 'The Verbally Abusive Relationship, How to recognize it and how to respond' by Patricia Evans. I recently read the book - cover to cover. I now understand that I am a Verbal Abuser, it's impact on my spouse and our relationship, a little about my childhood that contributed to this situation. I could not put the book down; the more I read the more I wanted to learn about verbal abuse, and most importantly, now to stop it! This book did not provide the tools or recommendations on how to stop it.

I then turned to the internet to find some answers. That is when I came across your e-book and web site. My google search on your name turned up several web sites that had information about you and your work. That is when I ordered the book. I printed 2 copies, one for me and one for my wife (since we do not live together at this time).

What have I learned: After learning I am a verbal abuser in Evans book and I began reading your book. I am very pleased to discover all the tools you provide in your book; the dialogue boxes to Reflect on, the How to. Victim Thinking, forcing yourself to look at the positive side of things, the partnership agreement up front (this is a big one for me) on how to handle future signs of abuse before it happens --- when my wife recognizes the signs, the tone of my voice, the jaw clenched, facial expressions -- give me the signal "TIME OUT" or what ever it is we agree on up front -- the signal that I am about to lose it and need to walk away and gather myself, my thoughts, my feelings, and regroup. How to stop the escalation, how verbal abuse inflicts the soul, killing the trust and intimacy, generating hate, what name calling does. I am up to page 91 in the book. I do yellow highlighter and red underlines of key things that after I read the book I go back and focus again on those highlighted / underlined sentences.

Thank you for your research, your book, your follow up e-mails, your follow up lessons. Your work is what I have been looking for to help me recognize who I am and how to overcome / stop verbal abuse. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

MICHIGAN

Dear Dr. Deb,

Words can not express my gratitude and thankfulness for the benefits of the e-book on verbal abuse. I have been able to return to the person I used to be before I entered this relationship 10 years ago and heal so that it wouldn't be something I would ever get in to in the future. More than anything my children are seeing a difference and responding positively to the techniques I have learned in your book and relationships are being repaired!!!! I am finished with the book and my husband is on page 101 at this time. I have been attending counseling for several sessions and my husband joined me on last week and I am hoping he will continue to support me by going.

THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!!!!

WASHINGTON

The book has done us a lot of good in a short time. Your approach of not labeling or blaming helps diffuse anxieties and allows people to perceive the worst in themselves without anger or frustration. This makes the acceptance of issues and responsibilities for problems easy to deal with. I have already recommended this book to others. I also have suggested the book to our counselor. We have both, my wife and I, accepted our roles and are changing our patterns. We are both having the best relationship of our marriage and are acting like teenagers. (married 32 years). You did a very nice job on the book.

I am a translator/proofreader of e-documents who just recently read THE most powerful, painful, and helful book about the subject of verbal abuse.

You would not believe how this book turned my (our) life around in just one day! Being in an abusive marriage, oops - married to a good man who acts badly and being a good wife/mother who acts badly sometimes, I read a lot of material about verbal abuse, in English as well as in [my other language], but never came across anything that can measure up to your book.

Anyhow, thank you very much for this book; the best money I spent in a long time. Knowing my "not yelling and screaming any more" at my husband and the kids as a reaction to my husband's verbal abuse and his sulking (the most painful part of all of it), makes the best Thanksgiving and Christmas gift for my family! Best of all, I don't even have to bit my tongue that often. Reading your book just made a light bulb go on and I darn sure don't give Edison credit for that. The healing is on!

Dear DrDeb,

Reading your book was very enlightening. I have been a bit depressed, I guess finally learning, and admitting that I have been verbally and emotionally abused for the past 22 years. We have been separated since the 25th of March. He has been fairly good about it. I told him I needed some time and space, and he has given it to me. The good part of this is that he is spending more time with our kids. He does not think he is abusive. He does admit his mother was abusive to him, but well, getting him to take a good look at himself, well..... I have given him a copy of the book, so....

Hi,

My wife found your book and tried to get me to read it; unfortunatly I never did till she left me a week later and am reading it now. I'm far from finished with your book, but it's the biggest eye opener I've ever read. It's me through and through. I was abused badly as a child and I've always thought that if I never so much as hint to the posibility of physical abuse, then I won't be like my parents, but your book shows another type of abuse that's just as REAL as mine. I called my step daughter a fat ass a year ago and I have frequently squaked at her and her little brother during our nearly 2 years of marriage. My wife is everything to me. She's my best friend. I try very very hard to do those little things to show her how much she means to me but I blow it when I feel victimized over little things because that's how I was raised. My wife left me. We still talk. I truly hope there's a chance left for us.

She has tried many times to explain to me what your book says over the last year. I never paid attention. I make good money now. I work very very hard and for many many hours a week, but that's not an issue. Another issue is she needs more security, with a better place to live (house rather then appartment) and more then anything a peaceful secure home for her kids, which is why I'm writing you. Instead of giving her this first and playing later, I bought myself a motorcycle. She kept telling me to, but now I realize just because she said to doesn't mean she meant it. It's for sale now. I want sooo badly to be that person in her life she can trust and I want her kids to feel the same. I love her kids as my own, although her daughter has good reason to think otherwise.

I do have an appointment tonight for counseling, and I'll be there. But is there anything else I can do to get help? When I thought I'd never hurt my wife, her kids, or anyone else, I never thought that my words, or my coldness would apply as hurt, but it did. I'd like to set up some kind of counseling for us if at all posible although I never asked her nor does she know I'm writing you. I want and need help doc and I also want to save our marriage. Please help us.

[6 months later:] I'm taking a break from counseling, but it turned my life around. I found out I suffer from anxiety and this plays into the victim role which really isn't reality, just circumstance. I've improved greatly although I still need counseling for life I assume.

Thanks for everything, CALIFORNIA

Just want to say I received the materials and started to work 'on me'. The first thing I read was all the shorter bonus materials. Then I covered my computer with sticky notes bearing my affirmations. I am deep into the e-book as well. My eyes have certainly been opened and I am putting what I am learning into thought and practice. This may or may not help my marriage, but it will certainly help me with other relationships, like my children, extended family and friends. In a nut shell, my husband is definitely going through a mid-life crisis, although he has a controlling and verbally abusive nature (apparently since I've known him (25 yrs), just didn't realize at the time we started out) it has escalated and I got lost in the mire. I am finding my strength again thanks to your helpful information.

NEW JERSEY

I have suffered with emotional pain for 20 of the 23 years in my marriage. I have been forgiving my family members for years but the pain did not stop. At a Christian healing conference last week I realized my love tanks were empty. I needed to find the source of the pain and inner healing. God is good and answers our prayer: I googled emotional pain, verbal abuse, and found your book. I realized my family is perfectly described by you on page 82-84 and I had to draw a line in the sand: counseling & behavior change or divorce. This is very painful to tell my children & spouse and I knew by doing this I was inflicting pain on them, not in retribution but in (die to self) love. I am not sure my marriage can be healed but I believe my children can heal and go on to find loving spouses & families. As a Christian we learn forgiveness, which I practiced to the best of my ability for years but without repentance & change by the abuser (me included) it will continue.

Thank you for being an answered prayer and a blessing to me. May God bless you.

FLORIDA

Dear Dr. Deb,

I am currently reading your book and find it very helpful and informative. Unfortunately, my husband and I have decided to end our marriage. He has been verbally abusive for most of the 8 years we've been together and I've left too many times to mention. I've even had a charge against me for domestic abuse because I was defending myself and he had ended up with a mark on his arm so I went to jail. Although that was the most humiliating experience of my life, I pled guilty so I wouldn't have any legal fees and he and I attempted to reconcile once again. The one good thing that came from that was I was court ordered to attend anger management classes although the safe house I went through profiled me as a victim.

That was 2 years ago and when we argue he threatens to call the police and have me thrown in jail again. He's even scratched and drew blood on his own arm and then threatened to call the police. And earlier this week he raised a fist up to strike me but didn't. And, after all those incidents he doesn't want to admit that he has a problem. I admit that I have no control over my temper once he pushes me too far.

The list goes on and on. He has issues with my family, children from a previous marriage, and friends (which I don't really have too many of). I believe that after all that I've read and researched it is time for me to end this abusive relationship. I hope that someday he decides to read your book and seek some counseling so that any future relationships will not end up like ours. By the way, I'm his third marriage. His first wife left him for another man, his second wife and he had a volatile relationship that finally had to end after 5 years (3 years together), and then there's me who he's been with the longest. I should have seen the signs back when we first got together but I didn't. And then when I did, I made the usual excuses.

Thank you for the wonderful book though and I'll at least learn what not to do in future relationships as well as what to do.

SIX MONTHS LATER:

Since that letter my husband and I have made another attempt at making our marriage work. I wish I could tell you that it was just your book that contributed to this reconciliation but that wouldn't be entirely true. I believe that it was my daughter, her husband, and their faith in God that inspired me and it was with her assistance and my own faith, along with your book, that has given me the strength and courage to make my marriage work.

My husband isn't all of a sudden the perfect husband, however MY attitudes and behaviors have changed and I believe that with God's help those attitudes and behaviors will be passed along to my husband. And, so far it has happened. With him I'm handling it one step at a time. As I take a step I discuss what I'm doing and he listens and I see that he also applies the same step later on. It makes him feel like he's made the change on his own without any persuasion from me. I'm pleased with however he makes the changes! The biggest realization for him was that it's not my responsibility to make him happy or to keep him entertained. He now has a full-time job (which was only supposed to be a part-time job) that he enjoys and he says it makes him feel like he has purpose again. He had taken an early retirement from his job 2 years ago and was doing absolutely nothing since I had to work.

Love has never been an issue with us so that's what keeps me working on our marriage, as well as for him. Looking for an easy way out with someone else won't solve the issues we have within ourselves. That's what we've both decided to work on.

I'm not sure if you're familiar with Joyce Meyer but her message this morning was about turning to God first for help rather than after you've exhausted all resources. And this is what I will do when times are troubled between my husband and I.

Respectfully,

FLORIDA

Dear Dr.Deb: thank you so much for having your website and book available. On Feb 26, two days before our 31st anniversary my wife cleaned out the house and left me while I was at church. I was completely clueless that I was abusive to her and our 3 children, the youngest now 18. She had left me a note to please google "emotional and psychological abuse" and said She was no longer a victim. I came across your website and found myself in the intro. I never thought of myself as an abuser and would have denied it vigorously. I knew we had problems and thought it was all her fault. She had cut me off sexually six years ago. But I could not see it was because of the way I treated her... after all I never beat her, I provided well for her and we had a beautiful house on the lake all paid for, who could ask for more? She would not council with the church or any other counseling with me because it all was the same "Does he beat you? Does he provide for you? Does he run around? Do you have a roof over your head? What's your problem?"

We looked like the perfect family, Dad in charge, happy obedient wife, 3 beautiful and high achieving kids. In all our years together I had never touched her in anger, we had never even called each other a rude or bad name; things that were done to us as kids.

I have read all kinds of relationship books, thinking "this is the answer" but it would fall flat, because she would see that I just "did not get it" and was trying to control her with my new information of how good I was for trying.

I have been studying your book... and what a revelation....no one else made it plain like you do. I found the abuse that I grew up in at home and my first 40 years in an abusive, controlling church. I found what and how of how I treated my family and actually thought I had been doing the right thing. I found the inner anger I had lived with, and every one else in my family. I really love my Wife and in no way wanted to hurt her .. but I did. I was finally able to meet with her last evening. A pleasant time at a coffee house. She was really interested in your book, because my youngest daughter told her "I think dad gets it now," and I had told her how your book is unlike any other I had ever seen. It doesn't beat up the victim as so many others do. I gave her a copy and she said she would check it out. I am now in the process of healing. With God's help I am changing, and with God's help we can be a family better than we ever were before.

Thank you so much for your help.

Hi Dr. Deb.

I have been reading your book. I'm only to page 56 right now. It's very powerful and there is so much in it I can relate to and what I see can help my daughter as well as my husband but again only if they are willing to help themselves. Right now I'm attending church every week and praying everyday along with using your book which puts me on a path not only of self discovery but tools which I can PRACTICE using in situation I'm faced with here in my home with my husband and daughter.

I have realized from your book that even though I have been a victim of verbal, emotional and physical abuse my whole childhood and dealing with verbal and emotional abuse in my marrage that because of the abuser being so dominant that I never had learned the proper tools to communicate my feelings because my feelings never mattered to anyone so they never mattered to me and I realized I was becoming just like my husband in retaliating the same way, pretty much treating him in the very same way I was trying to convince him that wasn't right. I didn't like who I became because of him and because of the suffering I didn't know how to cope; always blaming myself for everything that went wrong.

Treat people the way you want to be treated is the way I believe and you can't teach someone something is wrong if you are doing the very same thing. With my husband the other night when he called on the phone around 9pm after I had been trying to get a hold of him all day, and he said he was going to play cards. I said I feel disrespected. He said what do you mean? I said you live as a single person who doesn't have to be home at a certain time and just decides your gonna go here or there without calling and asking how I feel about things. I feel like you don't care about my feelings and I feel disrespected. Then he started talking about himself and I said "This right now isn't about you its how I'm feeling right now and I wish you would come home so we can talk." He said he can't take this stress I'm putting on him. He is feeling like he is having chest pains and he doesn't want to talk about it. He had to go and hung up. I called back a bit later to make sure he was all right even though I knew he was. He always uses his health as an excuse when He wants to get out of something. He was at the card game. I just let it go, but on my end even though nothing changed with him I felt good that instead of yelling and arguing that I got what I felt out, and it's a start to satisfy myself that I made it clear how I felt. Well...its a start...

Dr. Deb I am just waiting for a credit card I have coming in any day now and I am going to sign up for the phone councelling every Monday. It's rough for me but I will be putting money aside not to let it get out of control. I really want to counsel with you. I'm looking forward to it.

Thank you for sharing this book with me.

NEW JERSEY

Hi Dr. Deb!

I love your book and it is indeed the only one I've seen along it's lines. Everything else states that it's probably important to leave the verbally abusive relationship, and it's just a matter of when. You addressed that very well in your book.

I still haven't finished the book but I haven't waited to put it to use. I decided to change my actions/reactions to things my husband says and does before I share it with him. I wanted to do a little experiment to see if that alone would cause much of a difference.

The results are that for about a week and a half he was "the perfect husband" and then he blew up last night for what seemed to me to be an insignificant reason. Undoubtedly something I said during the day must have upset him and he never addressed the root issue, just let it escalate into an inappropriate reaction to a fairly benign question (I told him I would like to make love).

The most important thing I have gotten out of your book to date is that he acts out when he feels like a victim. I never realized before that he ever feels that way because his verbal "attacks" can be so cruel that I don't care much what spurred them on... they never seem justified. I do give him credit for knowing that he needs to walk away for a while when he gets upset. He's better at that than I am. When I'm upset I want to talk about things and he doesn't. He is able to talk about them days later when they're not so emotionally charged.

Your book works nicely with my core spiritual beliefs. I have a Christian upbringing and now have adopted "A Course in Miracles" as my belief system because it espouses a combination of what I have grown to believe throughout the years as well as new ideas that become "aHA" moments in my life. I've known for a long time that I tend to mis-perceive things and overreact emotionally. I've tended to lean on the man in my life for my ultimate happiness and yet I do understand that I am responsible for my happiness. I sought out ACIM because I felt that I was constantly sabotaging myself in my relationships and in other areas of my life. What I'm working on right now is to take better care of myself and really learn to love and accept myself. I can really see how what I think and feel about myself feeds the way others respond to me. Your belief that you CAN create change in a relationship...that you dont' have to just throw it out supports the ACIM belief that we will not "escape" our problems... they will continue to come back to us through whatever relationship we are in. ACIM asks us to see verbal "attacks" as cries for help. To learn to see another with empathy and love is the goal.

I will share your book with my husband some time soon. I'd like to take him to counseling if I can find someone who is supportive of my core belief system. It would probably help if I joined a local ACIM group and make some friends who believe the same thing.

My story could take a long time, so I'll end this email now by saying "thank you" again for such a helpful book!

Sincerely

Hi DrDeb,

My husband and I started couselling first and it was during our first sessions that I realized that I was being verbally and emotionally abused. Before that I didn't recognize it , I just knew I couldn't take much more. That is what brought me to your web site and to your book. I have only gotten through the first 40 pages of the book, but it has been a total "eye opener" for me. Although our situation is not as extreme as a lot of the incidences in the book, there are a lot of similarities too. I completely agree that the verbal abuse can turn to physical abuse at any time and have seen flashes of it just under the surface and threatening to happen. If I had been a more verbal person I'm sure it would have happened before now, but by not provoking the situation, is what kept it from happening.

My spouse is not working on this with me as yet, as he denies that what goes on is abuse...he thinks he just has some issues with anger and is mostly "just joking" and doesn't mean the things he says.

I'm trying to read him little parts from the book and I'm hoping he'll recognize his actions and maybe become more agreeable.

All this information helps so much...Thank you,

QUEBEC, CANADA

So far my husband likes how you aren't taking sides. We're not too far along, so we'll see how it goes.

UTAH

Hello Dr. Deb I can't thank you enough for your book it has helped us so much!! If only we would have used it 23 years ago!

Thank you for calling verbal abuse the violence that it really is. I have failed for all of my adult life to see it in this light.

TENNESSEE

If you still are unsure, may I suggest you take my free, expedited mini-course. Instead of waiting 10 days for second and third issues of my newsletter, why not sign up here for a three-session mini-course, delivered over three days, and then come back to purchase the Book?