How To Get Rid Of Trauma: Accepting Feelings Is The Healthiest Way To Recover From Pain

As happens to all of us in life, you will likely find yourself dealing with emotional trauma at some point. According to our experts, it could be that you are experiencing trauma if you feel helpless and/or have difficulty controlling your emotions.

In that sense, the first thing to know is that it is never good to ignore those feelings that overwhelm you. The key is to learn to react when faced with them. If you do the opposite, you can end up making things worse.

How Childhood Trauma Can Affect Adults

On the other hand, those emotions can affect all areas of their lives, including relationships. For example, they may have trust issues, difficulties when they feel vulnerable, and even conflicts when expressing their affection for their partner.

How To Heal From Trauma

The healing of emotional trauma, whether from childhood or any other stage of life, is not something that happens automatically. It is a process and should be seen as such.

There are many ways to deal with trauma. But one primary thing to understand is that, regardless of when it happened, you should not be afraid to feel what you feel.

If You Want To Heal, You Have To Be Able To Feel

Whether you’re angry, sad, or in need of crying, hug yourself and let those feelings go; Only then can you learn to take care of yourself.

It is also advisable to surround yourself with people who support you, in case you don’t feel like talking, that’s fine too.

Steps To Cure An Emotional Trauma Of Childhood

Other factors must be taken into account when it comes to recovering from uncomfortable and traumatic childhood experiences.

The effect of trauma can be seen in different areas of a person’s life. But some important tips for surviving the pain of that stage are:

  • Differentiate yourself from toxic people.
  • Stay as active as you can.
  • Spend time in a calm and rejuvenating environment.
  • Stay in a safe condition, and take care of yourself.

It is easier to say than to apply all this, of course! But taking one step at a time may be the most appropriate strategy to free yourself from the pain of the past.

What do you think of all this? Will you dare to consider any of these proposals?

The material in this article is for informational purposes only and does not replace the advice of a certified specialist.…

11Feb/20

Here’s What You Have To Keep In Mind While Getting Divorced

Most marriages have mixed feelings about the divorce but have fallen into toxic behavior. In which they focus on the weaknesses of the other. If they can think about the aspects in which their marriage and partner are good, they will have the key to start rebuilding their relationship.

Keep In Mind That It May Be A Bad Run

The attitude towards a marriage crisis can change from wanting to give it up for wanting to fix it over one or two years. I tell my clients that we must let the consequences of the crisis settle a bit to find out what is what they want.

You Have To Attain Your Partner Again, Even If It Is Somewhat Uncomfortable

When your relationship is about to break, the last thing you want is to give you hugs and say nice things to you. But you have to do it. Yes, when a relationship has difficulties, being tender is not natural; it seems constrained and automatic. A relationship flourishes thanks to affection and love, so you have to get to that point where it works to seem more natural.

You have to get used to saying “I” instead of “WE.”

Everyone knows that marriage is a matter of two. And when there are problems, you are also contributing. Instead of saying things like ‘we argue a lot’ or ‘sex is not like before between us,’ think about what you have done to contribute to those problems.

You Have To Ask Yourself Why You Still Want To Fix Your Marriage

The most potent indicator that a relationship is healthy is the presence of the desire for the relationship to work, regardless of the difficulties. If you both want the relationship to work, you are very likely to get it. I tell you that a good way to start is to stop to think about the benefits of continuing together for all those involved (the members of the couple, the children, etc.)

You Have To Realize That Relationships Are Not Going To Be Easier With A New Partner

Focus on growing and healing. Yes, you can start over with another person, and then what? The same dynamic will be repeated. Instead, it is advisable to keep an open attitude to the possibility of going to therapy. If the divorce is the answer, go ahead with that decision consciously, without guilt.

If you have children, you have to take into account what it will mean for them to throw in the towel or keep trying.

Don’t divorce if you’re not sure. Instead of doing it, wait for things to clear up. If you have children, not regretting anything means being able to tell them that you did everything you could to save the relationship.

You Have To Focus On What Can Be Changed

You just have to focus on the things you can control. By the time they come to see me, each member of the couple has made a huge list of things that their partner does and would like to stop doing. Things like ‘that does not happen so much time watching TV ‘or’ stop cleaning so much and come to bed with me. ‘Yes, it would not be bad if your partner stopped doing those things, but it is his thing if he wants to do it. Let something like that irritate you just get disgusted unnecessarily. Instead, focus on the things you can control and let your partner fix theirs. You will soon be more relaxed, have a better mood, and, as a result, the relationship will begin to improve.…

10Feb/20

3 Tips To Reduce Problems In Marriage

A few years ago, during a wedding, I heard these tips. As usually happens when one runs into wisdom, for the moment one seems to be intransigent, out of tune or insubstantial advice. At that time, I could not imagine that these recommendations would help me cope with situations and problems of marriage. For the same reason, now I dare to share them with you:

  1. Dirty Rags Are Washed At Home

Never discuss your marital problems with your parents, friends, or co-workers. That is being disloyal. It is very common that when the couple is going through a crisis, parents are used as a first resort. Returning to the paternal house in search of comfort is the first, without thinking, that it can be in the long run counterproductive. Talking in great detail about the causes of quarrels with your parents will only create a distance between your partner and your father’s house because they will obviously take sides with you. Keep in mind that with the reconciliation, you will forget every incident, something that your parents and family will be very present. In each episode, you will give them the necessary weapons to be recriminating the choice you made, and you will open the possibility that every time you have a problem, they remind you of every previous incident; well they say that the parents, and mainly the mother, serve “to add more fuel to the fire” instead of trying to reconcile the situation. Therefore, the recommendation is not to involve more people in marital problems, and more if they instead of helping can make the conflict bigger in the long run or in the short run.

  1. Ask Advice From Other Couples You Trust

On some occasions, I heard that asking new husbands to have their sponsors be partners is not on a whim. The intention is that in times of crisis, they approach them to ask for advice and guidance because the godparents, by living a life as a couple themselves, at some point in their life in common they could be in a similar situation and could tell them what they did To solve problems and differences. There will be no better advice for the new couple than that of another who knows what the “stretch and loosen” of marriage is.

  1. Find The Best Time And Place To Talk

When you are angry, you can say many things in a hurtful and offensive way. In the same way, you can have impulsive reactions that later cannot be corrected (such as grabbing your things and going to your parents’ house waiting for them to go after you and that does not happen). Home problems stay at home. In times of anger, it is not advisable to try to fix situations amid screams and disqualifications. It is better to give both parties time to calm down, think things through calmly and serenely. Always try to put yourself in the shoes of the other to understand their reasons, and as mature people talk about what caused the dispute. And don’t leave for tomorrow what you can talk about today.

The reactions caused by anger are something that your partner will eventually know and vice versa. That is why, as part of living together, they will learn how to handle these situations, they will know at what time and in what place they can seek comforting reconciliation.…

09Feb/20

Is Intimacy And Passion In Your Marriage An Obligation Or A Gift?

The acts of conjugal love are not something casual, temporary, and capricious that we want to last while we like each other; it is something much deeper and more committed.

The human love between two tends to unite those who love nature because repeated mutual inclination towards that pleasure you get in every sexual act is created. But it is a repeated and gratifying trend, and it should not be synonymous with obligatory or law acquired by either party.

Because never better than in that way of wanting to sometimes give ourselves or giving up in others for love, can you show ourselves that we are not only subject to our desires of nature, but that we are also able to put the exercise at our service of will without having to lose our freedom for it?

Who does not know what it is to share the co-starring role in the same joint story, even if he loves the other, he will always look for his territory and place of principal dominion were to shine in a stellar way. His eagerness to shine with his own light limits his way of loving by illuminating the other and will also lead him to try it in the sexual field, where he will seek to illuminate himself seeking his pleasure and self-centered recognition at the expense of the other and not to know how to project his sensual light and sexual towards the other but only towards himself.

Man and women love each other freely and because they feel like it. In this sense, love is originally an affective-sexual liberation, a free act, a donation from one to the other. But neither of them should ever think of that free donation. “One of the two is in debt … with the other”; “You can choose to have sex for money,” but when talking about love and not only about sex and pleasure, “nobody chooses to love each other on credit.”

The surrender between man and woman for love is originally a gift as free as a reciprocal gift where two people are left in a state of personal, spiritual, the gratitude of true emotional balance. The harmony that occurs in this unit also has an ingredient of a spiritual nature because it is also the fusion of two souls in one body much more than the apparent union of two bodies in a conjugal community.

We must eradicate our mind and our vocabulary without reason to:

When you and I love each other by commitment or obligation we become a poisoned gift because then there is no love there is the only repression and/or rejection, our love has ceased to be a gift, when there is no freedom there can be no thanks.

When you and I love each other and donate for love, we not only owe ourselves nothing, but we welcome each other, we appreciate, we appreciate, we always enjoy, and we are left wanting more … donations.…

08Feb/20

How To Overcome A Couple Crisis: 7 Practical Tips To Achieve It

Having a good relationship is essential to develop a happy life. However, it is not an easy task to achieve it. In this article, we will share seven practical tips that will help you overcome a couple of crises. In a relationship, different ways of seeing life, different criteria, personal stories, attitudes, emotions, and different temperaments are combined. All that mixture of differences at some point leads to a crisis.

But it is possible to overcome crises and keep the relationship stable. You just need to have a guide or orientation, in order to react correctly to crises. Thinking about it, we wanted to gather for you seven practical tips, with which you can overcome a crisis with your partner. Keep in mind that sessions and therapies with a psychologist could be of great benefit. You can even opt for the option of an online psychologist who can also guide you to overcome a couple crises.

First tip: Dialogue, don’t impose

Many times crises make us react negatively. Sometimes we want to impose our criteria, convinced that we are right. This plays against since it does not allow us to understand the other party. Even if you are right, raise the dialogue, and you can reach an agreement that will placate the crisis. So remember that it does not matter winning, it is not a competition, it is about overcoming the crisis. Therefore it poses ideal conditions for dialogue.

Second tip: Accept the differences

Secondly, you must learn that since it is a relationship of two, occasionally in the relationship, there will be two points of view, two criteria. You can’t pretend your partner thinks like you. Many crises are due to one of the parties trying to coerce the other to think and act, as she would. It is best to accept the differences, learn that they are part of the dynamics of the relationship.

Third tip: Have details with your partner

You do not need to give him a gift every day. But it is important that your partner feels valued. For that, it is enough to have small details on a daily basis. Sometimes it is enough to stop to ask how you feel and listen carefully. The couple’s life sometimes makes us feel that everything is already established; we take the relationship for granted and forget the importance of the details. This is how resentments and negative emotions accumulate until the couple explodes, and everything results in an almost uncontrollable crisis. But even in times of crisis, be thorough with your partner, that way you can placate the crisis.

Fourth Tip: Do Not Criticize Your Partner, Focus On What Needs To Be Corrected

 When some behavior of our partner bothers us, this results in a crisis. Many times everything goes out of control because we insist on criticizing our partner and not on correcting or manifesting what bothers us. We recommend that you focus on expressing what bothers you, without this meaning criticizing your partner.

This is how you can generate a good environment to reach agreements and end the crisis.

Fifth Tip: Don’t Compare Your Partner

Comparisons are unnecessary. They do not help solve the problems. Far from solving, comparisons cause more discomfort, and consequently, the crisis increases. Therefore, do not compare, again, you must focus on expressing what bothers you, without criticizing the personality of your partner and without comparing it with other people.

Sixth Tip: Think Before You Speak

Crises intensify when we are not careful in expressing our ideas. If you do not have control and emotional intelligence, you can end up hurting with words, which will make the crisis stronger.

 That’s why you have to think before you speak, say things in a good tone, and to solve and not blame or hurting.

Seventh Tip: Listen Too

When there is no willingness to listen, we move away from solving the crisis. You should worry about listening to your partner, knowing what bothers you, or why it acts the way it bothers you.

Knowing how to listen is essential to get out of the crisis. So listen to your partner. With these practical tips, you will be able to solve the crises and overcome them with your partner.

It is also important to have the help of a psychologist. Do not wait for the situation to be uncontrollable. Remember that you have the option to support yourself with online sessions with an online psychologist, and thus improve the dynamics with your partner.

Share this article on your networks, so other couples can benefit from the information.