How to Pursue Happiness in the Dating Game - Part II

by Debby Schwarz Hirschhorn
The Jewish Star Times, February 20, 2002, p. 17

It is a combination of outer and inner charm in which it is impossible to know where one begins and one ends. We do know, though, that some very beautiful looking people sometimes just leave us feeling unimpressed. That's because the soul of the person is what truly makes the person beautiful. If you have found people who you would think fit your agenda physically but somehow leave you feeling cold, that's why. You're going about it backwards. Look, with your eyes closed, to who excites your mind and spirit-then open your eyes.

G-d also tells us to create a "bayis ne'eman b'Yisroel," a trustworthy house within Jewry. That means that the home, which is the sum of you and the person you will marry, is rock-solid. It's a house of Torah, of midos (good character), kindness, respect, observance; it's a place of warmth and light.

it's a place of warmth and light.

Now, let me ask you something. If you were truly trying to serve G-d and you therefore created a home like this, do you think it would matter if your spouse were blonde or brunette, or an inch too short or tall? After all, G-d doesn't expect us to be shallow.

Now, both the Declaration of Independence and the Torah make sense. We pursue happiness-and feel it-when we serve H' with all our hearts. And serving G-d means following His advice in the Torah. When we choose our future mate carefully for the right reasons, we do create a bayis ne'eman b'Yisroel. And, I assure you, that's happiness.